One Step At A Time, the start of an ever-evolving journey of self-discovery. After considering several potential names for my blog, I ultimately settled on “One Step At A Time.” However, this decision took nearly two years of soul-searching and reflection. Through this process, I realised that breaking down my goals into manageable steps made them less daunting and more achievable.

I first shared my intentions of starting a blog with friends during a hangout by the pool in 2021. I wanted to create a safe space to inspire others, particularly women, to take control of their lives and practice self-love. Growing up, I have always believed that personal development and self-love are essential components of a fulfilling life. After all, if we do not love ourselves, how can we properly care for others?

My Journey in Naming My Blog

So, I originally planned to name my blog “Leo Hoc Yeu,” which translates to “Leo learns to love” in Vietnamese. (For those who don’t know me, back in Saigon, most of my friends call me Leo). I chose “Leo Hoc Yeu” because I see life as a journey of self-discovery and growth. In this context, love extends beyond romantic relationships to encompass all aspects of life, including family, friends, nature, art, culture, and more. Ultimately, I aim to share my experiences and insights to encourage others to embrace their journeys of self-discovery and self-love.

Self-reflection and self-love play a crucial role in our personal growth and development. Engaging in self-reflection allows us to introspect and better understand ourselves, our values, and our motivations. It will enable us to examine our actions, thoughts, and emotions and identify patterns or behaviours hindering our progress.

Through self-reflection, we can recognise our strengths and weaknesses, acknowledge our mistakes, and take responsibility for our actions. Additionally, self-love is essential as it enables us to accept and embrace ourselves unconditionally, fostering a positive sense of self-worth and empowerment. By cultivating self-love, we are more likely to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion, which can positively impact our mental and emotional well-being.

Mistake, The Shame and The Guilt

The COVID-19 pandemic hit Vietnam hard, changing everything for me, including my marriage and life. I found myself buried in debt, trouble I had brought myself. I was scared and ashamed and didn’t know how to face my husband then. Not only that, I had broken my vows and gone against my belief system. I hit rock bottom, and my pride was shattered. I couldn’t believe how stupid I had been. Even though my marriage was falling apart and I was in deep financial trouble, my guilt was eating me alive. I knew that I needed to get myself out of this dark place.

Throughout my life, my father has instilled in me the importance of taking responsibility for my actions. I had been miserable and had to get myself out of it. Taking responsibility for my efforts is crucial to personal growth and a powerful motivator for change.

I regained control over my life when I acknowledged my role in the outcomes and consequences of my choices.

This acceptance allows me to recognise areas for improvement, reflect on my actions, learn from my mistakes, and identify areas where improvements can be made. This newfound motivation and self-awareness are potent catalysts for change, inspiring me to make positive choices, develop new skills, and pursue personal growth with renewed determination.

Hence, I sought help and found the support I needed to get back on my feet. It wasn’t just financial support that I needed – it was mental support. Someone believed I was a good person who had made a genuine mistake and that there was still good in me. They saw no malice in my actions and that I had learned my lesson. I deserved a second chance. With their guidance and encouragement, I began rebuilding my life one step at a time.

Own Your Mistakes

I started by facing my fears and confronting the consequences of my actions. It wasn’t easy, but I knew I had to take responsibility for my actions. I apologised to my husband, my family, and myself. And I acknowledged the pain I had caused and committed to change.

I learned to forgive myself and let go of the shame and guilt. It was easier said than done. I knew that I still had a lot of work to do, but I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time. I learned that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you take responsibility for them and learn from them. I’m forever grateful for the support that helped me overcome this challenging time.

The COVID-19 pandemic was challenging for everyone, but the aftermath was even more brutal. As the economy slowly recovered, many businesses struggled to get back on their feet. I faced financial struggles and had to work hard to land freelance gigs and handle multiple projects simultaneously to regain my financial independence. It was mentally demanding to juggle work, an impending divorce, and the challenges of rebuilding my life.

The Struggles Were Real

When I finally moved into my new home, I experienced a breakdown. I realised I was alone and needed to learn to live independently again. It’s difficult to break from routine and adapt to a new environment. Humans are naturally conditioned to their surroundings, and abrupt changes can be overwhelming and challenging. I found myself questioning my choices and doubting my sense of direction.

Despite the emotional turmoil, I had to put on a brave face and persevere. I had to pay rent, pay off my credit card debts, and keep moving forward. Hence, I put my dreams and plans aside and focused on maintaining my mental well-being. I learned to prioritise self-care and set aside time to process my emotions and recharge.

It wasn’t easy, but I emerged more assertive and more resilient. I learned to embrace the challenges and uncertainties that life throws our way and to focus on what truly matters – our mental and emotional well-being.

And The Pain Was Challenging

I realised that my mental well-being was the most important thing to me. I used to be happy and positive, finding joy in the simple things like a bird flying or the beauty of trees. But I had lost that person. My mind was consumed with chaos, filled with guilt and self-pity. I was lost and unable to recognise myself in the mirror.

Physical pain was nothing compared to the pain of losing myself. The pain of knowing that I was the cause of my marriage falling apart and the shame of my actions was destructive. But I knew I needed to prioritise my mental health and work towards finding myself again.

While I’ve endured physical pain from various sources, including dog bites, falls from trees, and even a red-tail viper bite, emotional pain is an entirely different beast. Knowing that my actions caused my marriage to break apart was unbearable. I put my once beloved partner out of balance. The shame of my actions left me feeling lost and unsure of who I was anymore. Facing the consequences of my mistakes was destructive and left me struggling to find my way back to a place of peace. Despite my ability to withstand physical pain, the emotional pain was overwhelming.

A Quest for Direction: Rediscovering Myself

I realised that I needed to make a change in my life. As I was determined to heal and rediscover myself, I listened to self-help podcasts, read relationship books, and talked to family and friends to achieve this. I exercised, meditated, reflected, and wrote in my journal for clarity.

However, I learned that more than reading or listening to expert advice was needed. I needed to put in the work myself to see any real progress. This led me to the second name attempt for my blog, ‘Everything Starts with You.’ No matter what others want for you, it’s crucial to prioritise your desires and goals. You are the only person who matters, and everything you want in life starts with you.

Even after the divorce, I still struggled to understand what happened and why it happened in the first place. While facing my struggles, I searched for direction in my life. I decided to pursue my childhood dream of studying abroad on my own. I have written a separate post about my thought process of decision-making for pursuing an MBA in the UK. If you want to learn more about it, I invite you to explore it here.

Fast forward to the journey of emotional maturity. This experience taught me that the first step is often the most challenging part of achieving your goals. That’s why I considered naming my blog “Take The First Step” as a reminder to myself and others to push beyond our comfort zones and pursue our dreams. I took the first step towards achieving my goal of studying abroad by nurturing a strong desire for it.

The Direction Commitment

After being accepted to all three universities I applied to, I received a scholarship offer for my MBA program from one of them. This made me reflect on my journey so far and prompted me to start planning for the next steps in my life, such as preparing for the visa application, meeting the financial requirements, and attending to numerous other details for this exciting new chapter.

The journey of self-improvement, whether personal or professional, has taught me the importance of planning and executing tasks step by step. By focusing on one task at a time, I’ve realised the value of giving my full attention to each job instead of trying to multitask. This realisation led me to name my blog “One Step At A Time.”

Keeping track of my progress and taking things one step at a time is critical to achieving my goals. This approach allows me to stay focused and progress toward my desired outcome. While some people excel at multitasking, a more deliberate approach yields better results for me. Concentrating on one step at a time lets me devote my attention and energy to the task thoroughly.

Looking back on my marriage and divorce struggles, I reflected on my journey deeply to understand the profound lessons from it. To gain a better grasp of my reality, I embarked on exploring the emotional struggles I faced and how I ultimately overcame these challenging times.

See a separate post here to explore my lessons and how I overcame the challenging time.

Celebrate Victories of A Growing Journey

Upon being accepted to Brunel University London, I promised to start a channel and share with those who may need the courage to face their challenges. I aim to inspire others to put more effort into improving their lives, whether through education or any other suitable pathway. The key message here is never to give up and pursue your dreams, regardless of how challenging the circumstances may seem. Take it One Step At A Time.

I want to give back to the community by sharing my experiences and helping others avoid the mistakes I’ve made. Now that I am living my dream as a student again and embracing this new adventure I am keeping my promise and starting my blog, One Step At A Time.

Continuing this journey, I aim to delve deeper into mindfulness and self-care. Mindfulness is being fully present at the moment, without judgment or attachment to the past or future. It allows us to cultivate awareness and appreciation for the present moment, leading to greater clarity of mind and reduced stress.

Thank you for being here, and I welcome you to embark on this journey with me.